A lot of the losing weight and for that matter achieving anything is all about doing the same thing over and over - in other words CONSISTENCY. If I were to put together all the effort I have put into my battle with weight instead of all the stops and starts and breaks - I can bet my bottom dollar there would be no one healthier than moi!
I am aiming to be consistent and not be results driven to a manic point. An example is when my psychologist suggested to me to try and fight my desire to eat sugar until our next appointment. I started great but then on days 3 and 4 I ate chocolate and then some ice cream and then some more. My report to the psychologist was that I had failed, although she saw it as a little victory that I did not eat sugar for all of the 10 days. Indeed her advice was to cut myself some slack. Lesson learnt. I need to take one day at a time and then - who knows if I do eat sugar then I need to move on and simply do better right after instead of wallowing and then deciding that I might as well have the lot as I have failed in my own eyes. The only day where I have decided I will not think of sugar is xmas day. I know I will have a mince pie but other than that there arent any plans to have a sugar overload. It is something I have planned and decided I will do. If I do not WANT to have the mince pie, I will not. Our Christmas menu reads something like fruity muesli for breakfast, Xmas lunch is a prawn platter, waldorf salad and watermelon and mint - and possibly roast chicken and also possibly some mulled wine. No heavy duty sauces or creamy pies. It is likely to be a hot day so I am quite happy to do a healthy Christmas meal and feel happy thank you very much :)
Another thing that I am doing is that I have come to a blanket agreement with my husband that we will not get anything sweet in the house. That way I do not have to come to any decisions. Mind you I did buy 2 jars of jam but they are going straight to my husbands work for his morning tea. I actually forgot about the blanket agreement we had and thought it was a good deal when we bought it. Now thats good money spent and so it will simply mean the jars have to be spirited away.
Coming back to consistency, when I read blogs where people have lost weight (and stacks of it I might add) and of those (myself included) that haven't, the one recurring difference between both groups really boils down to consistency. Therefore, I do not need to reinvent the wheel - all I need to do is think of ways of how I can be consistent and commit to it. Having said that, I am not planning to do a weight in this weekend just to get my head into gear and also spend time preparing my spreadsheets for measuring weight and centimetres. I still have to learn how to have all those gizmo things on blogs like in a lot of blogs I see.
However, in the spirit of the season - merry xmas all and cheers to new beginnings xoxox
The amazing race
Saturday 24 December 2011
Sunday 11 December 2011
Reporting after one week
Righty o' reports post week one as follows:
Weight 120.6 improvement of .600 gms
Hips 140.6 improvement of 5cms
Waist 117.7 improvement of 3cms
Neck 39.9 improvement of 6cms
My thoughts on the progress:
Overall I am happy with the progress. I was not super strict and my walks have to increase in distance other than the usual 2 kms. Sugar consumption has to come down although it is hugely better than it used to be where a family bar of chocolate was usually no challenge at all. Mentally I have been in a happier place. It might be due to the one visit I have had with the psychologist - not that she worked miracles but more because I quite liked talking to a complete stranger who listened and asked questions as a natural flow type of thing rather than feeling I was on the proverbial couch as they show in movies.
Sessions will continue with the psychologist and we will see where I go. Until then be healthy
Weight 120.6 improvement of .600 gms
Hips 140.6 improvement of 5cms
Waist 117.7 improvement of 3cms
Neck 39.9 improvement of 6cms
My thoughts on the progress:
Overall I am happy with the progress. I was not super strict and my walks have to increase in distance other than the usual 2 kms. Sugar consumption has to come down although it is hugely better than it used to be where a family bar of chocolate was usually no challenge at all. Mentally I have been in a happier place. It might be due to the one visit I have had with the psychologist - not that she worked miracles but more because I quite liked talking to a complete stranger who listened and asked questions as a natural flow type of thing rather than feeling I was on the proverbial couch as they show in movies.
Sessions will continue with the psychologist and we will see where I go. Until then be healthy
Tuesday 6 December 2011
A New Year round the corner
Although I do not believe in making new year resolutions (having flopped miserably at so many of them), there is something to be said for new beginnings that I am a big fan of and if the association coincides with a new week, month or year, I don't really mind.
Anyhoo I had outlined 2011 as a year of self repair and so I have had a baby, an ankle reconstruction, visits to a psychologist to deal with my sugar addiction and now that the year is almost at an end, I thought it might be time to draw up another list of what I would like to do in 2012 seeing all of the above were accomplished. These plans are not in order of preference
2012 PLANS
BODY
MIND
Meanwhile the cold hard facts:
There is a great app on my iphone called 'MyNetDiary' which is free (I am a sucker for free apps). One can log all measurements etc on this app. There is also a section where one can log in the food etc which I am not doing as I am still new to this app and just want to keep a record of my weight essentially. But it is there for those that need it.
I am planning on measuring myself weekly and will go from there. My goal for Dec is to go for a walk everyday for an hour starting tomorrow.Meanwhile I will think of things like gyms etc for the following months. Lets see. I just need to focus on moving and eating better and of course doing what the psych has asked me to do - write about me eating sugar when I eat it and I have not done it. I have to complete this tonight. But it is 7.15pm and I need to cook - hubby is back and putting little one to sleep - I gotta run :) - Be healthy all!!
Anyhoo I had outlined 2011 as a year of self repair and so I have had a baby, an ankle reconstruction, visits to a psychologist to deal with my sugar addiction and now that the year is almost at an end, I thought it might be time to draw up another list of what I would like to do in 2012 seeing all of the above were accomplished. These plans are not in order of preference
2012 PLANS
BODY- Lose 30 Kilos.
- Try and minimise sugar to no more than half a cup a month and then working towards gradually ending its existence in our lives.
- Make exercise a part of daily life and not think of it as a punishment or a chore.
- Cycle 100km in 2012
MIND
- Work on self confidence and standing up for myself - if someone is rude then let them know it.
- Enjoy life and each day valuing my gorgeous husband and lovely child and thanking the powers that be for their existence in my life.
- Try and meditate once a week
Meanwhile the cold hard facts:
Weight: 122.2 kg
Measurements:
Hips 141.1cm
Waist 118 cm
Neck Circum 40.5cmThere is a great app on my iphone called 'MyNetDiary' which is free (I am a sucker for free apps). One can log all measurements etc on this app. There is also a section where one can log in the food etc which I am not doing as I am still new to this app and just want to keep a record of my weight essentially. But it is there for those that need it.
I am planning on measuring myself weekly and will go from there. My goal for Dec is to go for a walk everyday for an hour starting tomorrow.Meanwhile I will think of things like gyms etc for the following months. Lets see. I just need to focus on moving and eating better and of course doing what the psych has asked me to do - write about me eating sugar when I eat it and I have not done it. I have to complete this tonight. But it is 7.15pm and I need to cook - hubby is back and putting little one to sleep - I gotta run :) - Be healthy all!!
Thursday 18 August 2011
117.8 and still counting
I am continuing unabated from bad to worse. Today I baked brownies for my husbands office and ended up having a few pieces all on my own. Being laid up with the ankle and of course my food guzzling has meant another increase in weight to 117.8 kilos. In my head, I have this devilish mantra that says "since i cannot move anywhere out of the home then I might as well eat and I will lose all this weight once I can move (as if this approach has worked before)". I am getting more and more tired about all these excuses which I have relied upon before. This is getting scary particularly as it is getting closer and closer to my all time heaviest of 126kilos and I do not want to get there.
I will now plan my meals and try and stick to them. I do not want to put a lot of pressure on myself as this only makes it worse but I do want to have a think about what I am going to eat the next day and plan my day in advance so I know where I am headed. It is also not going to be essential for me to eat all that has been planned coz if I am not hungry then I will not eat it and also all timings are sort of flexible apart from dinner where I want to finish all meals by 7pm and my glass of milk by 8 at the latest.
Breakfast
Oats with oatmilk, half a pear and one strawberry and a cuppa tea
Mid morning
One apple
one cup coffee and one orange
Lunch
One slice bread
Omelette with tuna
Salad: cos lettuce, tomato, 3 olives, low fat feta cheese
Midafternoon
2 mandarins and a cuppa tea
Dinner
Kangaroo and half a piece of bread with salad
Water: 2 litres.
I will now plan my meals and try and stick to them. I do not want to put a lot of pressure on myself as this only makes it worse but I do want to have a think about what I am going to eat the next day and plan my day in advance so I know where I am headed. It is also not going to be essential for me to eat all that has been planned coz if I am not hungry then I will not eat it and also all timings are sort of flexible apart from dinner where I want to finish all meals by 7pm and my glass of milk by 8 at the latest.
Breakfast
Oats with oatmilk, half a pear and one strawberry and a cuppa tea
Mid morning
One apple
one cup coffee and one orange
Lunch
One slice bread
Omelette with tuna
Salad: cos lettuce, tomato, 3 olives, low fat feta cheese
Midafternoon
2 mandarins and a cuppa tea
Dinner
Kangaroo and half a piece of bread with salad
Water: 2 litres.
Tuesday 19 July 2011
It annoys me when
It annoys me when people that have never had an issue with weight try and dish out advice about weight. For instance a family friend Mary (lets call her that anyway), a skinny waif (size 8) of a girl who has never had a weight issue ever or anything even remotely close to it. A few weeks ago we had a chat where she quite easily said it was unfortunate that I would never ever be able to lose weight as it was all about genes and with my genes this was impossible for me to lose weight!
A part of me wanted to punch her to bits in that instant - but then given that I do not consider myself a violent person, I merely punched her in my dreams and have since not bothered keeping in touch with her and the negative energy she brings. The point I am trying to make is that it really shits me when people like Mary and her ilk can make a statement like that particularly when they do not have enough knowledge of health and fitness nor any level of informed judgement before making one so easily. Then there is this other part of me that feels frustrated within myself for basically being a shining beacon of proof for her statement when all I want to do is to slap her face with proving her (and dimwits like her) wrong.
Anyway, that was my gripe of the day. News on this front is not good. I am now 116.5kilos which I have not been in a long long time. I am off sugar again and so will have to see how I go. I also have found out that I have to have an ankle reconstruction due to a 20 year old ankle injury which noone has managed to pick up thus far. So tomorrow I am meeting the surgeon and so lets see from there how I go and when we are to have this reconstruction. Yet another day where I will get told that I need to watch my weight and so on as the surgeon I am going to treats footy stars and all the super super athletes.
A part of me wanted to punch her to bits in that instant - but then given that I do not consider myself a violent person, I merely punched her in my dreams and have since not bothered keeping in touch with her and the negative energy she brings. The point I am trying to make is that it really shits me when people like Mary and her ilk can make a statement like that particularly when they do not have enough knowledge of health and fitness nor any level of informed judgement before making one so easily. Then there is this other part of me that feels frustrated within myself for basically being a shining beacon of proof for her statement when all I want to do is to slap her face with proving her (and dimwits like her) wrong.
Anyway, that was my gripe of the day. News on this front is not good. I am now 116.5kilos which I have not been in a long long time. I am off sugar again and so will have to see how I go. I also have found out that I have to have an ankle reconstruction due to a 20 year old ankle injury which noone has managed to pick up thus far. So tomorrow I am meeting the surgeon and so lets see from there how I go and when we are to have this reconstruction. Yet another day where I will get told that I need to watch my weight and so on as the surgeon I am going to treats footy stars and all the super super athletes.
Saturday 9 July 2011
Slightly behind posts and feeling fat and all
The highlights of what I have not done since I last wrote is as follows
- catch up on blogs
- weigh in
- Falling down down and down
I feel fat - my tummy hangs...I wobble...I feel like a whale...I failed the sugar addictions challenge and have to start again and am getting fed up of trying again and again and again. I have identified that I have an addiction to sugar and a fear of success too. The moment I have a good week or two I automatically go into self-sabotage mode. I feel as though someone else - another force perhaps is controlling me. This coupled with a deep belief that I cannot succeed all serve to repeatedly lead me to failure.
I have identified that all these are habits which have 'concretised' (if that is a word) over a period of years. I refuse to pay gyms any more moolah as it seems as though until I do not get my arse together it is all pointless. My gorgeous husband has reassured me over and over again. He wants to support me in all my goals and aspirations and if I want to be healthy he will mroe than happily join the bandwagon as he wants me to stick around till we are both old pensioners and not leave him high and dry. He has a point. At the rate at which I am going I think I might leave him well before I can take long service leave, leave aside reaching pensionable age.
I am going to have to kiss sugar goodbye as this seems to be my very downfall. I have a gorgeous 5 month old daughter and a fantastically unreal partner. He has also gone off sugar to support me and he so does not need to. I don't know what else he could do to show his support for me. Not once has the man stopped me from spending money on anything related to health and fitness, lost his patience, and he has more faith in me that I do in myself. We have learnt a lot about health and nutrition along the way but the one thing constant in my life has been my weight.
My weight has not gone down and largely due to my eating secretly. Chocolates in particular actually. Some people tell me that I am lucky as my only vice is sugar (well chocolates really) and not everything else on top of chocolate such as chips and dips, fast foods, eating out regularly etc. Well I do think I might be lucky in that area I suppose and should probably make the most of it and cease the one thing letting me down and see what happens.
Whilst recognising that I have a habit issue which has been perfected over the years, like an alocholic I must now say enough is enough. I am not about to sit here in this blog and write out yet another motivational sage only to return with my tail between my legs a couple of weeks later licking my wounds. All I will say is I intend to report every Monday. Period.
Until then keep trying and health to all. Cheers
- catch up on blogs
- weigh in
- Falling down down and down
I feel fat - my tummy hangs...I wobble...I feel like a whale...I failed the sugar addictions challenge and have to start again and am getting fed up of trying again and again and again. I have identified that I have an addiction to sugar and a fear of success too. The moment I have a good week or two I automatically go into self-sabotage mode. I feel as though someone else - another force perhaps is controlling me. This coupled with a deep belief that I cannot succeed all serve to repeatedly lead me to failure.
I have identified that all these are habits which have 'concretised' (if that is a word) over a period of years. I refuse to pay gyms any more moolah as it seems as though until I do not get my arse together it is all pointless. My gorgeous husband has reassured me over and over again. He wants to support me in all my goals and aspirations and if I want to be healthy he will mroe than happily join the bandwagon as he wants me to stick around till we are both old pensioners and not leave him high and dry. He has a point. At the rate at which I am going I think I might leave him well before I can take long service leave, leave aside reaching pensionable age.
I am going to have to kiss sugar goodbye as this seems to be my very downfall. I have a gorgeous 5 month old daughter and a fantastically unreal partner. He has also gone off sugar to support me and he so does not need to. I don't know what else he could do to show his support for me. Not once has the man stopped me from spending money on anything related to health and fitness, lost his patience, and he has more faith in me that I do in myself. We have learnt a lot about health and nutrition along the way but the one thing constant in my life has been my weight.
My weight has not gone down and largely due to my eating secretly. Chocolates in particular actually. Some people tell me that I am lucky as my only vice is sugar (well chocolates really) and not everything else on top of chocolate such as chips and dips, fast foods, eating out regularly etc. Well I do think I might be lucky in that area I suppose and should probably make the most of it and cease the one thing letting me down and see what happens.
Whilst recognising that I have a habit issue which has been perfected over the years, like an alocholic I must now say enough is enough. I am not about to sit here in this blog and write out yet another motivational sage only to return with my tail between my legs a couple of weeks later licking my wounds. All I will say is I intend to report every Monday. Period.
Until then keep trying and health to all. Cheers
Friday 10 June 2011
Seek and Ye Shall Find
I started my sugar free existence with some rules last week. It was difficult even though I had decided that on Sunday afternoons I would eat any sweets of choice. I did not think of this as rewarding myself but merely to discipline myself into planning before I ate any sweets. This way I would automatically not have anything sugary during the week as it had not been planned for and if I did then it meant I was a long way off making a change in life.
The 4 days until Sunday were really difficult moreso because I was now more aware of eating sweeties than before. For instance, if I was offering my husband a piece of toast with jam, usually I would just lick the jam off the knife or spoon without much thought. This time I was more aware and hence choosing not to do it.
Sunday came and I weighed myself....woohoo a whole 900 gms less! I was really pleased with myself. This had been effortless but then this is only 4 days into sugarfree life.
Hmm now for the most interesting part - what had I been planning to eat? Suddenly a whole bunch of things crossed my mind - lemon tart, chocolate, cake, fruit cake, muffins..oh the list went on in my head and I could not think for a moment. Was I beginning to think what I would really really want instead of wanting everything sweet without 'discriminating'? Was I finding that when it came to choosing what I would really want, nothing seemed that desperate? And these were all things I loved!
Hubby and I left for South Melbourne market where we shop for our weekly veggies. It is a little family tradition that we have coffee at th9is special coffee place and share a little pastry - usually a muffin or a Danish. Can u imagine, I bought him the Danish but would not taste it as I wanted my own dessert and had not made up my mind as to what it would be? From there we went to Coles and there was the Ben and Jerrys icecream that caught my eye. I'd never had it but had heard of it. I was tempted but that quickly changed when I saw the $12 price. There was no way I was going to pay that. I did not care how great it was - it just did not make sense - I could not decide what my sweet was going to be. So we then left for the Indian shop where I decided that the mithai (indian sweet) was not really tempting me enough - from there to coles again and then to the Russian bakery where I finally bought a pastry. A yummy concoction of almond paste combined with rum and raisin layered in a lovely bread external layer. It was a lovely huge piece. However, by this time I was so hungry that I was in tears. It seemed as thought the universe was conspiring against my quest for sweets and I did not seem to want to listen. I threw a tanty and bawled my eyes out. My patient husband tried his best for the hundredth time in our marriage to console me and get me to the point where I was sitting on the table with my lovely pastry but like a child I felt my world had ended with this huge big runaround for my quest to find the perfect sweet. I knew I was being completely irrational but then I could not help it.
Bottomline: going sugarfree is not going to be a walk in the park. So this princess will have to suck it up!
The 4 days until Sunday were really difficult moreso because I was now more aware of eating sweeties than before. For instance, if I was offering my husband a piece of toast with jam, usually I would just lick the jam off the knife or spoon without much thought. This time I was more aware and hence choosing not to do it.
Sunday came and I weighed myself....woohoo a whole 900 gms less! I was really pleased with myself. This had been effortless but then this is only 4 days into sugarfree life.
Hmm now for the most interesting part - what had I been planning to eat? Suddenly a whole bunch of things crossed my mind - lemon tart, chocolate, cake, fruit cake, muffins..oh the list went on in my head and I could not think for a moment. Was I beginning to think what I would really really want instead of wanting everything sweet without 'discriminating'? Was I finding that when it came to choosing what I would really want, nothing seemed that desperate? And these were all things I loved!
Hubby and I left for South Melbourne market where we shop for our weekly veggies. It is a little family tradition that we have coffee at th9is special coffee place and share a little pastry - usually a muffin or a Danish. Can u imagine, I bought him the Danish but would not taste it as I wanted my own dessert and had not made up my mind as to what it would be? From there we went to Coles and there was the Ben and Jerrys icecream that caught my eye. I'd never had it but had heard of it. I was tempted but that quickly changed when I saw the $12 price. There was no way I was going to pay that. I did not care how great it was - it just did not make sense - I could not decide what my sweet was going to be. So we then left for the Indian shop where I decided that the mithai (indian sweet) was not really tempting me enough - from there to coles again and then to the Russian bakery where I finally bought a pastry. A yummy concoction of almond paste combined with rum and raisin layered in a lovely bread external layer. It was a lovely huge piece. However, by this time I was so hungry that I was in tears. It seemed as thought the universe was conspiring against my quest for sweets and I did not seem to want to listen. I threw a tanty and bawled my eyes out. My patient husband tried his best for the hundredth time in our marriage to console me and get me to the point where I was sitting on the table with my lovely pastry but like a child I felt my world had ended with this huge big runaround for my quest to find the perfect sweet. I knew I was being completely irrational but then I could not help it.
Bottomline: going sugarfree is not going to be a walk in the park. So this princess will have to suck it up!
Friday 20 May 2011
Sugar: The smiling sugary assassin
Today, I read an interesting article I had stored away for years. Written by a certain David Gillespie, David wrote that he was a corporate lawyer who researched fructose as he was 40 kgs overweight. Basically he ended up cutting out all products containing sugar and losing 40 kgs and keeping it off. His research identified to him that as a species us human beings are quite ill equipped to deal with the amounts of sugar we all consume. Obviously David has gone on to bigger and better things and now has written a book that can be purchased. I have not read any of his books but what he stated in his article did make a lot of sense to me. I guess particularly as I found that it was applicable to me where the sole issue and root cause of all my problems with weight is directly related to sugar and its forms....chocolate...chocolate and chocolate. Take todays example where I have already consumed 2 bars of chocolate and rice with milk and sugar - yes 2 serves of it - all in a days work! The voice inside me was on autopilot when it said to me that before I give up on sugar lets devour this as a last hurray. Yet how many last hurrays have I had I ask myself as I write this piece? Too many...but this time the goal is to learn and improve. I dont want to see myself writing this blog for the next five years and continue this journey of weightloss. I want to be any one of the blogs I read where the write has gone through her journey and reach or even almost reached the other side.
Anyway, coming back to the topic of the sugar free phase of my life, I am not about to jump into a sugarfree me. I am just acknowledging that I have a problem with sugar and all things sweet. This guy seems to make some sense to me from the limited amount I have read and heard. So one of the things that I have done to know more is order Davids second book on how to quit sugar. I figured that if I have spent moolah on so much diet and fitness, let this be one more thing. I am planning on going back to gym next month and so why not go armed with the right tools rather than just rock up yet again for yet another experiment and become a fit 114 kg woman, yet still obese. I will provide feed back on the book once I have read it. Also, I will go over all his references with a fine tooth comb just to cover all bases that this is not just another gimmicky thing I have given my business to. The book should get to me within the next week and I am using at least this weekend to plan my MO. So all I will say is watch this space!
Anyway, coming back to the topic of the sugar free phase of my life, I am not about to jump into a sugarfree me. I am just acknowledging that I have a problem with sugar and all things sweet. This guy seems to make some sense to me from the limited amount I have read and heard. So one of the things that I have done to know more is order Davids second book on how to quit sugar. I figured that if I have spent moolah on so much diet and fitness, let this be one more thing. I am planning on going back to gym next month and so why not go armed with the right tools rather than just rock up yet again for yet another experiment and become a fit 114 kg woman, yet still obese. I will provide feed back on the book once I have read it. Also, I will go over all his references with a fine tooth comb just to cover all bases that this is not just another gimmicky thing I have given my business to. The book should get to me within the next week and I am using at least this weekend to plan my MO. So all I will say is watch this space!
Monday 16 May 2011
I fail but try and rise again
I failed miserably in the last challenge - I will try again - This time I will break it down to a daily challenge. Hence it is 1030am and I am here in my little apartment with hubby having gone to work and little baby asleep. The challenge for the day is simply to avoid sugar and drink 2 litres of water for the next 24 hours. Think I can do that? Well I will give it a bloody good shot.
Where did I think I failed? I think I identified that I had to begin all over again and the goal seemed all too much and the ever familiar feeling of having failed seemed more comfortable than succeeding. You see success in the food and exercisepart of my life has not been a familiar feeling and over a period of time it is simply easier to fail and almost come to a predictable end than to change the storyline and wonder now what do I do next? I dont know it this makes sense but having gotten here after 3 weeks indicates how well I did at failing and just not showing up.
Anyway, this blog is not about beating myself up. It is about picking up them familiar pieces again and starting again. So today I will go for a long walk with my little one. I should be able to swing her away for about a 5km walk if I feed her well and proper. I have bought my trackpants and jumper and am all ready to go.
So my update for today is:
- I weigh 114.2 (gain of 400gms)
The goals for the DAY are:
- NO SUGAR
- STAY POSITIVE
- One 30 min walk a day
- Drink 2 litres of water
- Write my food diary today
The next weigh in will be next Monday but before breakfast unlike today where I have had breakfast, a piece of cake....alright 2 pieces of cake, chocolate and a cup of coffee. I will also research sugar addiction as I have zeroed down to this being my addiction in particular which really should make it easy as I only have one demon to beat and not several like a lot of others.
Where did I think I failed? I think I identified that I had to begin all over again and the goal seemed all too much and the ever familiar feeling of having failed seemed more comfortable than succeeding. You see success in the food and exercisepart of my life has not been a familiar feeling and over a period of time it is simply easier to fail and almost come to a predictable end than to change the storyline and wonder now what do I do next? I dont know it this makes sense but having gotten here after 3 weeks indicates how well I did at failing and just not showing up.
Anyway, this blog is not about beating myself up. It is about picking up them familiar pieces again and starting again. So today I will go for a long walk with my little one. I should be able to swing her away for about a 5km walk if I feed her well and proper. I have bought my trackpants and jumper and am all ready to go.
So my update for today is:
- I weigh 114.2 (gain of 400gms)
The goals for the DAY are:
- NO SUGAR
- STAY POSITIVE
- One 30 min walk a day
- Drink 2 litres of water
- Write my food diary today
The next weigh in will be next Monday but before breakfast unlike today where I have had breakfast, a piece of cake....alright 2 pieces of cake, chocolate and a cup of coffee. I will also research sugar addiction as I have zeroed down to this being my addiction in particular which really should make it easy as I only have one demon to beat and not several like a lot of others.
Wednesday 27 April 2011
I am addicted to all things sweet
I finally found my way back on to this blog today. I realised that if I did not do so now I never ever would. I confessed to my husband 2 days ago that I was addicted to food. Correction sweet food. It is not so much the taste. It is just the feeling of being controlled by it as one would imagine it is with drugs. My ever supporting husband congratulated me for admitting to it for the first time ever and encouraged me to conquer it. Over the last week or so this addiction has been getting progressively worse. It started with buying a discreet chupachup, moved on to a yucky bun from Bakers Delight, to a family bar of Cadburys chocolate from Coles stashed discreetly under my clothes in the wardrobe and then evolved into getting sucked into the local seven eleven promotion of buy one Lindt chocolate bar and get the other one for free at $3.
Of course it all came to discovery time once my hubby borrowed my backpack. I had not yet had the chance to transfer the contraband to its secure hideyhole under my clothes in the wardrobe! After initially getting irritated at him borrowing my backpack, I realised that I was really annoyed at the discovery moreso than the bag. I had to ring him and straightaway declare that we needed to chat. We did and I had to admit to myself and to him that I am addicted to sweets. I know I will kill myself if I do not stop. I have a gorgeous daughter to live for and a great husband who makes our life together fun and worth it all.
So today I ate a bowl full of sweets my mum prepared and a whole bar of chocolate and feeling yucky and sick as a dog and wanting to purge I have decided that this is not worth it. There has to be more to it than this. I can't bear to look at anything sweet right now and nows a time as any to set a demanding though not unachievable goal of trying my best not to eat any form of sugar bar the 1/4 spoon in my cuppa tea in the morning for 7 days and see how I go.
The updates from the previous blog is below:
- I turned 41 years old in March
- 5.3 in height
- I weigh just under113.8 kilos
- I have an ankle injury which bothers me when I am tired and I tend to trip on it when tired
- I gave birth to my first child through emergency C section 10 weeks ago
- I had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy
- I am currently breast feeding
The goals for the week are:
- NO SUGAR
- One 30 min walk a day
- Drink 2 litres of water
- Write my food diary everyday for 7 days
- Get back into protein shakes to get the protein up
I will not make this complex as I need a simple start and then will need to build it up. Plans for the near future with continued love and support of my husband are to head back to the gym I like and work best with. He has vowed to help by minding our littlie during lunch time 2 times a week at the gym while I work out. I will work out twice at night just before the gyms closing time when it is less crowded and then again once on Sat when it opens up. This will start in the middle of May when 3 months of mt daughters birth is up which will also coincide with my 3 months of C-section rest. Hence starting with 30 min walks for the moment will be a good way to ease into it.
I know I have an addiction because I have all the signs of an addict wanting a fix. Example: my husband left for work and I could not wait to defrost a pudding my mum made and have the lot. Feeling sick as a dog I then proceeded to open a bar of chocolate and consume the lot. I hated myself for doing that and wanted someone to take charge of me and tie me up and schedule all my meals for me. That was when I decided to take some charge (what was remaining of it) and take a baby step. The other night when hubby and I went for a friends birthday, I was sad we had to leave before dessert coz our little one was beginning to get cranky.. I felt I had missed my fix! and today to start this little step I felt as though I was giving up a lot and so had to make myself sick with sweet to even realise for the nth time that it is so not worth it to have a life of excesses of any type....and sugary, syrupy, decadence in my case. If all this is not a sign of addiction then I do not know what is.
Logging on to and creating an account at calorieking.com.au has meant facing upto the reality even if it bites and itches. Here is the news I received ont he very first page once I keyed in my stats:
Losing this amount of weight will not only affect your appearance but significantly decrease your changes of developing many major health risks such as: diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, stroke and cancer.
In order to reach your weight goal, we recommend consuming no more than these nutrients every day.
Important
These figures assume that you're doing exercise equivalent to ~ 45 min walk/day.
Following this plan, you should lose half to 1 kg a week or about 5 kg by June 1st.
Although officially my first day will start tomorrow, I am giving up sugar and all things sweet starting now 1402hrs. I will try and post everyday. And yes the 30 min walk has just gotten to 45 mins as per caloriekings recommendations which I must say should have been expected. Gotta fly now and get organised and plan my food for tomorrow. Ciao for now and I wish everyone health.
Of course it all came to discovery time once my hubby borrowed my backpack. I had not yet had the chance to transfer the contraband to its secure hideyhole under my clothes in the wardrobe! After initially getting irritated at him borrowing my backpack, I realised that I was really annoyed at the discovery moreso than the bag. I had to ring him and straightaway declare that we needed to chat. We did and I had to admit to myself and to him that I am addicted to sweets. I know I will kill myself if I do not stop. I have a gorgeous daughter to live for and a great husband who makes our life together fun and worth it all.
So today I ate a bowl full of sweets my mum prepared and a whole bar of chocolate and feeling yucky and sick as a dog and wanting to purge I have decided that this is not worth it. There has to be more to it than this. I can't bear to look at anything sweet right now and nows a time as any to set a demanding though not unachievable goal of trying my best not to eat any form of sugar bar the 1/4 spoon in my cuppa tea in the morning for 7 days and see how I go.
The updates from the previous blog is below:
- I turned 41 years old in March
- 5.3 in height
- I weigh just under113.8 kilos
- I have an ankle injury which bothers me when I am tired and I tend to trip on it when tired
- I gave birth to my first child through emergency C section 10 weeks ago
- I had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy
- I am currently breast feeding
The goals for the week are:
- NO SUGAR
- One 30 min walk a day
- Drink 2 litres of water
- Write my food diary everyday for 7 days
- Get back into protein shakes to get the protein up
I will not make this complex as I need a simple start and then will need to build it up. Plans for the near future with continued love and support of my husband are to head back to the gym I like and work best with. He has vowed to help by minding our littlie during lunch time 2 times a week at the gym while I work out. I will work out twice at night just before the gyms closing time when it is less crowded and then again once on Sat when it opens up. This will start in the middle of May when 3 months of mt daughters birth is up which will also coincide with my 3 months of C-section rest. Hence starting with 30 min walks for the moment will be a good way to ease into it.
I know I have an addiction because I have all the signs of an addict wanting a fix. Example: my husband left for work and I could not wait to defrost a pudding my mum made and have the lot. Feeling sick as a dog I then proceeded to open a bar of chocolate and consume the lot. I hated myself for doing that and wanted someone to take charge of me and tie me up and schedule all my meals for me. That was when I decided to take some charge (what was remaining of it) and take a baby step. The other night when hubby and I went for a friends birthday, I was sad we had to leave before dessert coz our little one was beginning to get cranky.. I felt I had missed my fix! and today to start this little step I felt as though I was giving up a lot and so had to make myself sick with sweet to even realise for the nth time that it is so not worth it to have a life of excesses of any type....and sugary, syrupy, decadence in my case. If all this is not a sign of addiction then I do not know what is.
Logging on to and creating an account at calorieking.com.au has meant facing upto the reality even if it bites and itches. Here is the news I received ont he very first page once I keyed in my stats:
Your Body Mass Index indicates that you are obese.
Based on your BMI, you are obese and should aim to reduce your weight to between 47 and 62 kg.Losing this amount of weight will not only affect your appearance but significantly decrease your changes of developing many major health risks such as: diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, stroke and cancer.
Our Recommended Diet Plan
| Target Nutrients | |
|---|---|
| Calories | 1997 cals |
| Kilojoules | 8387.4Kjs |
| Carbs | 249g |
| Fat | 61g |
| Exercise | ~ 45 min walk/day |
In order to reach your weight goal, we recommend consuming no more than these nutrients every day.
Important
These figures assume that you're doing exercise equivalent to ~ 45 min walk/day.
Following this plan, you should lose half to 1 kg a week or about 5 kg by June 1st.
Although officially my first day will start tomorrow, I am giving up sugar and all things sweet starting now 1402hrs. I will try and post everyday. And yes the 30 min walk has just gotten to 45 mins as per caloriekings recommendations which I must say should have been expected. Gotta fly now and get organised and plan my food for tomorrow. Ciao for now and I wish everyone health.
Sunday 30 January 2011
Once upon a time
The Biggest Loser began today with a twist. The trainers were to spend a week with the Biggest Loser families, eating what they eat and doing what they do in terms of exercise and all.
Needless to say, it followed the tried and tested formula which channels 7, 9 and 10 often rely on in terms of exaggeration and shock value i.e., showing all manner of consumption of copious volumes of food (surprise surprise mainly carb!) eaten and no exercise apart from going to the fridge and back.One female trainer threw up in the toilet and the other ended her night in tears at the sheer abuse of human body!
The reason why this program interests me is not so much because it is a reality program but more because losing weight is my mission and something that I have always aimed at and lost over the years. I try and see how far the contestants are pushed and probably to match my level of desperation to theirs. Perhaps in a morbid way it is comforting to see others face what I face and seeing they are bigger than me gives me hope that I may be able to give it a try yet again!
I have opened a couple of blogs and this time like yet another new beginning this is my third blog and hopefully my last one in terms of health related blog. So what am I working with?
- I am 41 years old in March
- 5.3 in height
- I weigh just under120 kilos
- I have an ankle injury which bothers me when I am tired and I tend to trip on it when tired
- I am currently 2 weeks away from giving birth to my first child
- I have gestational diabetes
- My baby will be born under a C-Section which means rest until my stitches heal
Probably sounds grim doesnt it? The positive news is that I have been exercising pretty hard over the last 3 years and have been getting better at it. I could eat better than I do but I di eat better than a lot of people and although this is no measure, I know what I need to control and where I can improve my chances of being healthy. I understand and accept that diets do not work and this is a lifetime thing and will never give up. I have made my peace with that and accept that this is the reality in my life. What has been encouraging during the term of my pregnancy is that I have not gained more than 7 kilos since the entire term of my pregnancy. I am proud of that and my doctor is amazed and happy with it. I believe this weight gain has been mainly because I have learned to eat better and made small changes over the course of the last 3 years. I have not dieted during the pregnancy and have even given up writing in my trusty food diary during this period. I have begun to enjoy healthy food and find that when I do not eat well I feel sick like the trainers did and actually throw up or have indigestion through the night. I include enough fibre in my daily food, do not suffer from constipation (which every pregnant woman I know or have read about has from time to time), have had my blood pressure under control for most of my pregnancy bar one occasion, no varicose veins and have been able to work right up until 2 weeks ago.
I will not make sweeping statements like I will win but neither will I start by saying that I will fail. I will just take each day at a time once baby is born. Until then I will try and continue to eat healthy, read up as much as I can on health, think about goals, strategies, rest, think positive - in short, build up my arsenal. On my team I have my husband who has never given up on me. He believes in me and supports me regardless of any form of judgement. He will experiment with healthy recipes, variety of foods to keep me engaged in the cause each time and does not glare or give me the proverbial stare if I do reach out for that extra piece of bread or cookie. He tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful he thinks I am every day even though I tell him to stop. He is my biggest supporter and although I am doing it for me, I am also doing it for us - so I can live longer with him and our child, enjoy going to the beach, cycling, playing with baby, travelling, wear jeans and who knows down the line dare to dream about lingerie!!!
But no dreams now - not because I dont want them but moreso because I have not had the time to think of what will happen during the course of my journey in terms of reward. For now it is just enough for me to say:
"I now declare the games open!"
Needless to say, it followed the tried and tested formula which channels 7, 9 and 10 often rely on in terms of exaggeration and shock value i.e., showing all manner of consumption of copious volumes of food (surprise surprise mainly carb!) eaten and no exercise apart from going to the fridge and back.One female trainer threw up in the toilet and the other ended her night in tears at the sheer abuse of human body!
The reason why this program interests me is not so much because it is a reality program but more because losing weight is my mission and something that I have always aimed at and lost over the years. I try and see how far the contestants are pushed and probably to match my level of desperation to theirs. Perhaps in a morbid way it is comforting to see others face what I face and seeing they are bigger than me gives me hope that I may be able to give it a try yet again!
I have opened a couple of blogs and this time like yet another new beginning this is my third blog and hopefully my last one in terms of health related blog. So what am I working with?
- I am 41 years old in March
- 5.3 in height
- I weigh just under120 kilos
- I have an ankle injury which bothers me when I am tired and I tend to trip on it when tired
- I am currently 2 weeks away from giving birth to my first child
- I have gestational diabetes
- My baby will be born under a C-Section which means rest until my stitches heal
Probably sounds grim doesnt it? The positive news is that I have been exercising pretty hard over the last 3 years and have been getting better at it. I could eat better than I do but I di eat better than a lot of people and although this is no measure, I know what I need to control and where I can improve my chances of being healthy. I understand and accept that diets do not work and this is a lifetime thing and will never give up. I have made my peace with that and accept that this is the reality in my life. What has been encouraging during the term of my pregnancy is that I have not gained more than 7 kilos since the entire term of my pregnancy. I am proud of that and my doctor is amazed and happy with it. I believe this weight gain has been mainly because I have learned to eat better and made small changes over the course of the last 3 years. I have not dieted during the pregnancy and have even given up writing in my trusty food diary during this period. I have begun to enjoy healthy food and find that when I do not eat well I feel sick like the trainers did and actually throw up or have indigestion through the night. I include enough fibre in my daily food, do not suffer from constipation (which every pregnant woman I know or have read about has from time to time), have had my blood pressure under control for most of my pregnancy bar one occasion, no varicose veins and have been able to work right up until 2 weeks ago.
I will not make sweeping statements like I will win but neither will I start by saying that I will fail. I will just take each day at a time once baby is born. Until then I will try and continue to eat healthy, read up as much as I can on health, think about goals, strategies, rest, think positive - in short, build up my arsenal. On my team I have my husband who has never given up on me. He believes in me and supports me regardless of any form of judgement. He will experiment with healthy recipes, variety of foods to keep me engaged in the cause each time and does not glare or give me the proverbial stare if I do reach out for that extra piece of bread or cookie. He tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful he thinks I am every day even though I tell him to stop. He is my biggest supporter and although I am doing it for me, I am also doing it for us - so I can live longer with him and our child, enjoy going to the beach, cycling, playing with baby, travelling, wear jeans and who knows down the line dare to dream about lingerie!!!
But no dreams now - not because I dont want them but moreso because I have not had the time to think of what will happen during the course of my journey in terms of reward. For now it is just enough for me to say:
"I now declare the games open!"
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