I started my sugar free existence with some rules last week. It was difficult even though I had decided that on Sunday afternoons I would eat any sweets of choice. I did not think of this as rewarding myself but merely to discipline myself into planning before I ate any sweets. This way I would automatically not have anything sugary during the week as it had not been planned for and if I did then it meant I was a long way off making a change in life.
The 4 days until Sunday were really difficult moreso because I was now more aware of eating sweeties than before. For instance, if I was offering my husband a piece of toast with jam, usually I would just lick the jam off the knife or spoon without much thought. This time I was more aware and hence choosing not to do it.
Sunday came and I weighed myself....woohoo a whole 900 gms less! I was really pleased with myself. This had been effortless but then this is only 4 days into sugarfree life.
Hmm now for the most interesting part - what had I been planning to eat? Suddenly a whole bunch of things crossed my mind - lemon tart, chocolate, cake, fruit cake, muffins..oh the list went on in my head and I could not think for a moment. Was I beginning to think what I would really really want instead of wanting everything sweet without 'discriminating'? Was I finding that when it came to choosing what I would really want, nothing seemed that desperate? And these were all things I loved!
Hubby and I left for South Melbourne market where we shop for our weekly veggies. It is a little family tradition that we have coffee at th9is special coffee place and share a little pastry - usually a muffin or a Danish. Can u imagine, I bought him the Danish but would not taste it as I wanted my own dessert and had not made up my mind as to what it would be? From there we went to Coles and there was the Ben and Jerrys icecream that caught my eye. I'd never had it but had heard of it. I was tempted but that quickly changed when I saw the $12 price. There was no way I was going to pay that. I did not care how great it was - it just did not make sense - I could not decide what my sweet was going to be. So we then left for the Indian shop where I decided that the mithai (indian sweet) was not really tempting me enough - from there to coles again and then to the Russian bakery where I finally bought a pastry. A yummy concoction of almond paste combined with rum and raisin layered in a lovely bread external layer. It was a lovely huge piece. However, by this time I was so hungry that I was in tears. It seemed as thought the universe was conspiring against my quest for sweets and I did not seem to want to listen. I threw a tanty and bawled my eyes out. My patient husband tried his best for the hundredth time in our marriage to console me and get me to the point where I was sitting on the table with my lovely pastry but like a child I felt my world had ended with this huge big runaround for my quest to find the perfect sweet. I knew I was being completely irrational but then I could not help it.
Bottomline: going sugarfree is not going to be a walk in the park. So this princess will have to suck it up!
