Since my last post things have been rather challenging. I don't know whether this is what usually happens whenever a new endeavour commences and one is challenged by the same things one is trying to be strong about such as when one is looking to eat healthy one is confronted on a daily basis with chocolates and sweets from nowhere and if one isnt seeking them then they come finding you at home!
Since my last visit to the naturopath, I was given some thyroid pills, b complex and chromium to combat my sweet eating'ness'. Around the same time I also started experiencing daily headaches and nausea which might be a coincidence or the pills simply do not suit me - I suspect it might be the thyroid pills as I have not reacted to either B complex or chromium previously. Result: I have stopped taking them all until I meet with the naturopath today. The other thing that has fallen by the wayside as a result of this sickness or feeling under the weather'ness' is that I have only been able to stomach home baked bread with jam or just a banana. Given that the n'path advised me that I was to eat carb in the morning only (porridge), this has obviously not occurred and so I have continued eating bread whenever I could stomach some form of food. I have also not been able to go for 50 min exercise as recommended by the naturopath due to the above. However, I have dropped a wee bit of weight to 120.6 kilos but I do not think it an achievement of any sort as this has had nothing to do with me putting in any effort whatsoever. I would rather feel better and go for a walk, eat fruit and veg and then lose some weight.
As for the psychologist, I have been naughty and have not written down what I did try and avoid in terms of sweet foods as she had requested which is bad as I do pay a shitload of moolah for her to work on my head and really should be doing my homework. Note to self: do homework given by naturopath and psychologist. I have made an appointment with the GP to ask what her opinion is on the pills I have been given as hubbys research reckons that what I went through were most likely side effects of the thyroid pills and it might be an idea to get a blood test to check out thyroid once again (although with the naturopath saying 60% of people who get their blood tested for thyroid it does not show up.....should ask more about this today as I am a bit confused).
On an interesting note, I passed by a 7/11 yesterday and decided that just coz I used to I would buy junk and fill my face - in some twisted way I believed that I was feeling unwell coz I had not eaten junk for days and this would get me back to feeling 100% and that my body was reacting to not getting its usual dose of sugar. I felt sick in the gut and could not even eat dinner and so I now know that sweet abuse is definitely not the cure for my malady
CONTD TODAY 15/01/12
Post visit from the maturopath and psychologist, we have decided to meet again on 31/01/12 and go from there seeing I did not follow a lot of the stuff related to eating due to my sickness. So I am trying hard to work on sorting out my food and also exercise a bit more. I have not been able to exercise as I just feel that the degree of my unfit state is at a level it has never been before - I get tired too easily and I know the whole point of being fit is to start somewhere - anywhere and then slowly work on the self. But I will definitely do so tomorrow seeing it is already the end of today. Hubby bought me a lovely bicycle and seeing I will be back to work shortly it will be a good tool to get the cycling out of the way by cycling to work and back. It is weird but there has been such a loss of confidence in not exercising that it feels daunting even to get to the first form of fitness activity, even just walking. So goal for the week is to work more seriously on exercising and get the 5 days a week 50 mins of exercise. I will report back to let you know how I go. I know I can do it. I have meanwhile decides that I will go carbless post breakfast just to test the naturopaths theory. I think the clincher was my psych telling me that I did not need to think of it in terms of lifetime of deprivation but just as an experiment which could be subject to some tweaking if required. That alone made it sound better. Also the second thing is lets face it, whatever I have done in the past decade has not really worked so I have decided to just place myself in the hands of people who I believe will have my best interests at heart and then go from there. My weight has not moved and I am still at 120.6kg. I will not put the pressure of failure upon myself and I think it is great that I have not gone up but am steady. I am sure walking will make me healthier. I want to think positive and just be my ally and not a foe. I am a hard taskmaster and do not give myself the credit for anything. I know I am on the right track and so let the journey continue and I will focus on small goals. My next goal is to break the 20's and get to the 19's and I am only 601 gms from getting there.
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