I'm afraid of
- Dying before my time
- Having a stroke
- Stress killing me
- Not ever losing the weight
- Not laughing enough
- Not spending enough time with family
- Snapping too much at my lovely husband
- Losing my parents
- Losing my daughter or husband
- Telling my mother-in-law that she is insensitive and bordering on racist
- Not exercising enough
- Not loving myself enough
- Making my support network sick of supporting me
Most of all. I'm afraid of not living enough.
Almost all of the things I have named above are related to health and this is all without me consciously thinking of naming health related. On the one hand it is good to note that it is related to one issue - health and on the other hand it also signifies what I keep thinking about most of the time.
All this makes me ask aloud...is it worth being so worried about these things that you forget to live in the present? Probably not. However, if I cannot let it be then I probably need to make a deal with myself. And that is to try and do my best without owning the stress.
How do I do this?
- Walk more than I currently do
- Learn meditation
- Learn mindfulness.
- Be kind to myself
- Forgive myself and learn from the error of my ways
- Be kind to myself
Over the last 2 days that I have tried to eat better, I have also eaten some bad chocolate at work but it is better than I used to although there is still a lot of room for improvement. I have felt a sense of relief in forgiving myself and am learning that aiming for perfection is a goal for those that are either OCD or people that want to keep hating themselves for failing and fail they will as perfection is an unrealistic aim.
Mindfulness is something I have only just been introduced to. It refers to paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, consciously and in the present moment. It is different to meditation in that it refers to being attentive in a non-judgemental manner where meditation is engaging in a mental exercise to reach a heightened level of spiritual awareness.
I am willing to give mindfulness a try and also meditation although I must admit that mindfulness seems to heighten my curiosity much more particularly as it has to do with heightened awareness of the present and what I have researched of it seems interesting enough to warrant a try. I will admit that I am likely to try both.
I am trying and at present it all feels uncomfortable, boring, tiring, achy...but I know if I persist for at least 2 weeks I will see the ray of some light creeping through when I start enjoying the exercising. Of all my little steps, a step I am going to take tomorrow is to meet my husband and daughter at a lake near where we live and go for a 5 km walk around it before settling down to a nice picnic dinner....I am both dreading and looking forward to it.
Here's to tomorrow.
- Dying before my time
- Having a stroke
- Stress killing me
- Not ever losing the weight
- Not laughing enough
- Not spending enough time with family
- Snapping too much at my lovely husband
- Losing my parents
- Losing my daughter or husband
- Telling my mother-in-law that she is insensitive and bordering on racist
- Not exercising enough
- Not loving myself enough
- Making my support network sick of supporting me
Most of all. I'm afraid of not living enough.
Almost all of the things I have named above are related to health and this is all without me consciously thinking of naming health related. On the one hand it is good to note that it is related to one issue - health and on the other hand it also signifies what I keep thinking about most of the time.
All this makes me ask aloud...is it worth being so worried about these things that you forget to live in the present? Probably not. However, if I cannot let it be then I probably need to make a deal with myself. And that is to try and do my best without owning the stress.
How do I do this?
- Walk more than I currently do
- Learn meditation
- Learn mindfulness.
- Be kind to myself
- Forgive myself and learn from the error of my ways
- Be kind to myself
Over the last 2 days that I have tried to eat better, I have also eaten some bad chocolate at work but it is better than I used to although there is still a lot of room for improvement. I have felt a sense of relief in forgiving myself and am learning that aiming for perfection is a goal for those that are either OCD or people that want to keep hating themselves for failing and fail they will as perfection is an unrealistic aim.
Mindfulness is something I have only just been introduced to. It refers to paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, consciously and in the present moment. It is different to meditation in that it refers to being attentive in a non-judgemental manner where meditation is engaging in a mental exercise to reach a heightened level of spiritual awareness.
I am willing to give mindfulness a try and also meditation although I must admit that mindfulness seems to heighten my curiosity much more particularly as it has to do with heightened awareness of the present and what I have researched of it seems interesting enough to warrant a try. I will admit that I am likely to try both.
I am trying and at present it all feels uncomfortable, boring, tiring, achy...but I know if I persist for at least 2 weeks I will see the ray of some light creeping through when I start enjoying the exercising. Of all my little steps, a step I am going to take tomorrow is to meet my husband and daughter at a lake near where we live and go for a 5 km walk around it before settling down to a nice picnic dinner....I am both dreading and looking forward to it.
Here's to tomorrow.
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