In my last post I spoke about 'liking' my body a wee bit. Well since that post I have had my trainer, my husband and a friend comment on how I seem to be shrinking a wee bit.
My trainer, 'you seem to be changing since the last fortnight'
Hubby, 'you are getting firmer'
Friend, 'looks like you lost some weight'
All comments I will gladly accept and feed off. Yes something seems to be changing. I don't quite know what it is apart from maybe I am firming up. Weightwise I am still around 120 kilos depending on what day or time I weigh myself. Although this is pissing me off, I am ignoring it for the moment as the aim is to be consistent and to copy that from day to day.
What am I doing?
- Trying to keep off the sugar. This means that apart from a teaspoon of honey I put in my yoghurt everyday, and one or two fruit a day, I try not to have any sweet things.
- I have gone back to full fat food and butter. I am no longer having fat free food and feeling eternally hungry and unsatisfied. I have made the decision to go back to full fat milk and use butter instead of margarine. I am feeling less hungry and having smaller portions of food as I am satisfied for longer.
- I have started experimenting with what makes my gut feel better and what does not. Bread does not make me feel good in my belly so I have decided not to have it. I am not anal about it but instead of having bread everyday, I only have it when I really want to. Same thing for rice and noodles and pasta. I am however having more sweet potato mash. I think on a very basic level I am experimenting with paleo type foods without becoming totally paleo.
- I have limited lentils and pulses. This is again with the paleo type experiment I am currently on.
With these little changes I am feeling better - working out is giving me a sense of self worth like never before. Seeing my body changing I am learning to appreciate it more and more. Maybe to an extent having had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant has been at the back of my head ever since and slowly and surely I am finding that I am thinking more and more about long term health, being healthy and active instead of slow and sluggish.
I do have my aberrations and am still a work in progress but I am very much improved from eating 2 medium sized cadbury bars from the local 7-11 every cpl of days to having one dark chocolate Lindt this week, most of which I do blame on my period. However, I think one thing I am doing a lot of nowadays is not giving myself hell and putting myself down each time I have an aberration. I accept it, think about why it happened and then move on with some ideas of how I would approach it. So in this instance, I know that had I eaten the dark chocolate slowly focussing on the taste, texture, flavour I would have not only enjoyed more but would have eaten less as the feelingof being satiated would have come after 4 squares or so. I know that in eating the chocolate I focussed on the taste, texture and flavour the first couple of squares and then went back onto the old pattern of throwing it in without any awareness of taste.
I am enjoying me and little by little I am learning to like me and enjoy the journey. Afterall there is no fun in a journey I dread? I will try and update as I go along a bit more regularly than I have been. Watch this space :):)
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