I am addicted to all things sweet

I finally found my way back on to this blog today. I realised that if I did not do so now I never ever would. I confessed to my husband 2 days ago that I was addicted to food. Correction sweet food. It is not so much the taste. It is just the feeling of being controlled by it as one would imagine it is with drugs. My ever supporting husband congratulated me for admitting to it for the first time ever and encouraged me to conquer it. Over the last week or so this addiction has been getting progressively worse. It started with buying a discreet chupachup, moved on to a yucky bun from Bakers Delight, to a family bar of Cadburys chocolate from Coles stashed discreetly under my clothes in the wardrobe and then evolved into getting sucked into the local seven eleven promotion of buy one Lindt chocolate bar and get the other one for free at $3.

Of course it all came to discovery time once my hubby borrowed my backpack. I had not yet had the chance to transfer the contraband to its secure hideyhole under my clothes in the wardrobe! After initially getting irritated at him borrowing my backpack, I realised that I was really annoyed at the discovery moreso than the bag. I had to ring him and straightaway declare that we needed to chat. We did and I had to admit to myself and to him that I am addicted to sweets. I know I will kill myself if I do not stop. I have a gorgeous daughter to live for and a great husband who makes our life together fun and worth it all.

So today I ate a bowl full of sweets my mum prepared and a whole bar of chocolate and feeling yucky and sick as a dog and wanting to purge I have decided that this is not worth it. There has to be more to it than this. I can't bear to look at anything sweet right now and nows a time as any to set a demanding though not unachievable goal of trying my best not to eat any form of sugar bar the 1/4 spoon in my cuppa tea in the morning for 7 days and see how I go.

The updates from the previous blog is below:
 - I turned 41 years old in March
 - 5.3 in height
 - I weigh just under113.8 kilos
 - I have an ankle injury which bothers me when I am tired and I tend to trip on it when tired
 - I gave birth to my first child through emergency C section 10 weeks ago
 - I had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy
 - I am currently breast feeding

The goals for the week are:
 - NO SUGAR
 - One 30 min walk a day
 - Drink 2 litres of water
 - Write my food diary everyday for 7 days
 - Get back into protein shakes to get the protein up

I will not make this complex as I need a simple start and then will need to build it up. Plans for the near future with continued love and support of my husband are to head back to the gym I like and work best with. He has vowed to help by minding our littlie during lunch time 2 times a week at the gym while I work out. I will work out twice at night just before the gyms closing time when it is less crowded and then again once on Sat when it opens up. This will start in the middle of May when 3 months of mt daughters birth is up which will also coincide with my 3 months of C-section rest. Hence starting with 30 min walks for the moment will be a good way to ease into it.

I know I have an addiction because I have all the signs of an addict wanting a fix. Example: my husband left for work and I could not wait to defrost a pudding my mum made and have the lot. Feeling sick as a dog I then proceeded to open a bar of chocolate and consume the lot. I hated myself for doing that and wanted someone to take charge of me and tie me up and schedule all my meals for me. That was when I decided to take some charge (what was remaining of it) and take a baby step. The other night when hubby and I went for a friends birthday, I was sad we had to leave before dessert coz our little one was beginning to get cranky.. I felt I had missed my fix! and today to start this little step I felt as though I was giving up a lot and so had to make myself sick with sweet to even realise for the nth time that it is so not worth it to have a life of excesses of any type....and sugary, syrupy, decadence in my case. If all this is not a sign of addiction then I do not know what is.

Logging on to and creating an account at calorieking.com.au has meant facing upto the reality even if it bites and itches. Here is the news I received ont he very first page once I keyed in my stats:

Your Body Mass Index indicates that you are obese.

Based on your BMI, you are obese and should aim to reduce your weight to between 47 and 62 kg.
Losing this amount of weight will not only affect your appearance but significantly decrease your changes of developing many major health risks such as: diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, stroke and cancer.

Our Recommended Diet Plan

Target Nutrients
Calories	1997 cals
Kilojoules	8387.4Kjs
Carbs	249g
Fat	61g
Exercise	~ 45 min walk/day

In order to reach your weight goal, we recommend consuming no more than these nutrients every day.
Important
These figures assume that you're doing exercise equivalent to ~ 45 min walk/day.
Following this plan, you should lose half to 1 kg a week or about 5 kg by June 1st.

Although officially my first day will start tomorrow, I am giving up sugar and all things sweet starting now  1402hrs. I will try and post everyday. And yes the 30 min walk has just gotten to 45 mins as per caloriekings recommendations which I must say should have been expected. Gotta fly now and get organised and plan my food for tomorrow. Ciao for now and I wish everyone health.

Once upon a time

The Biggest Loser began today with a twist. The trainers were to spend a week with the Biggest Loser families, eating what they eat and doing what they do in terms of exercise and all.
Needless to say, it followed the tried and tested formula which channels 7, 9 and 10 often rely on in terms of exaggeration and shock value i.e., showing all manner of consumption of copious volumes of food (surprise surprise mainly carb!) eaten and no exercise apart from going to the fridge and back.One female trainer threw up in the toilet and the other ended her night in tears at the sheer abuse of human body!
The reason why this program interests me is not so much because it is a reality program but more because losing weight is my mission and something that I have always aimed at and lost over the years. I try and see how far the contestants are pushed and probably to match my level of desperation to theirs. Perhaps in a morbid way it is comforting to see others face what I face and seeing they are bigger than me gives me hope that I may be able to give it a try yet again!
I have opened a couple of blogs and this time like yet another new beginning this is my third blog and hopefully my last one in terms of health related blog. So what am I working with?
 - I am 41 years old in March
 - 5.3 in height
 - I weigh just under120 kilos
 - I have an ankle injury which bothers me when I am tired and I tend to trip on it when tired
 - I am currently 2 weeks away from giving birth to my first child
 - I have gestational diabetes
 - My baby will be born under a C-Section which means rest until my stitches heal

Probably sounds grim doesnt it? The positive news is that I have been exercising pretty hard over the last 3 years and have been getting better at it. I could eat better than I do but I di eat better than a lot of people and although this is no measure, I know what I need to control and where I can improve my chances of being healthy. I understand and accept that diets do not work and this is a lifetime thing and will never give up. I have made my peace with that and accept that this is the reality in my life. What has been encouraging during the term of my pregnancy is that I have not gained more than 7 kilos since the entire term of my pregnancy. I am proud of that and my doctor is amazed and happy with it. I believe this weight gain has been mainly because I have learned to eat better and made small changes over the course of the last 3 years. I have not dieted during the pregnancy and have even given up writing in my trusty food diary during this period. I have begun to enjoy healthy food and find that when I do not eat well I feel sick like the trainers did and actually throw up or have indigestion through the night. I include enough fibre in my daily food, do not suffer from constipation (which every pregnant woman I know or have read about has from time to time), have had my blood pressure under control for most of my pregnancy bar one occasion, no varicose veins and have been able to work right up until 2 weeks ago.

I will not make sweeping statements like I will win but neither will I start by saying that I will fail. I will just take each day at a time once baby is born. Until then I will try and continue to eat healthy, read up as much as I can on health, think about goals, strategies, rest, think positive - in short, build up my arsenal. On my team I have my husband who has never given up on me. He believes in me and supports me regardless of any form of judgement. He will experiment with healthy recipes, variety of foods to keep me engaged in the cause each time and does not glare or give me the proverbial stare if I do reach out for that extra piece of bread or cookie. He tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful he thinks I am every day even though I tell him to stop. He is my biggest supporter and although I am doing it for me, I am also doing it for us - so I can live longer with him and our child, enjoy going to the beach, cycling, playing with baby, travelling, wear jeans and who knows down the line dare to dream about lingerie!!!

But no dreams now - not because I dont want them but moreso because I have not had the time to think of what will happen during the course of my journey in terms of reward. For now it is just enough for me to say:
"I now declare the games open!"